is it rude to shoot yourself in the face when someones talking
why the fuck has it become cool and original to have a mental illness
YOU WANT A MENTAL ILLNESS? TAKE MINE. I DON’T WANT IT.
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
omfg
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
i am reminded that english is a flawed language every time I am forced to use “that that” in a sentence
Cosmo Tip #455
When he asks if you’re in the mood, look him straight in the eye for a moment and then say “Bitch, I might be.”
first of all, who let me get so emotionally invested in a television show
